Review: Witness Infection

Witness Infection (2021) is an American Comedy film. It was written by Carlos Alazraqui and Jill-Michele Meleán. It was directed by Andy Palmer.

Lake Elsinore, California. A city not well known for its mafia connection. At least not as far as I know. Until today that is. Carlo (Robert Belushi) works in a pet grooming salon, alongside Gina (Jill-Michele Meleán). The two have a bit of a thing going together. They are not an item, and neither one has actually admitted to the other that there are romantic leanings bubbling under the surface of their cordial relationship.

Unfortunately, whatever feelings they have for one another are about to become irrelevant. Carlo’s dad, Mr. Serrelli (Carlos Alazraqui) has arranged for Carlo to marry Patricia (Erinn Hayes). Patricia is the daughter of Mr. Miola (Maurice LaMarche). Mr. Serrelli and Mr. Miola are both crime-family bosses who now reside in Lake Elsinore. There is some bad blood between the two families, and in an attempt to squash the beef, and unite the two families, Mr. Serrelli has decided the two will be married.

There are a couple of problems with this betrothal, that get in the way of its progression. First, Patricia is already dating Carlo’s brother Dominic (Bret Ernst). Second, Carlo is not interested in Patricia because he is already interested in Gina. Third, and most importantly, Lake Elsinore is being overrun by bloodthirsty, flesh-eating zombies. An Italian-themed food truck is supplying the town with sausages and meatballs that turn any who consume them into the walking dead.

Romance is about to become the last thing on the minds of Carlo and Gina, as they are about to find themselves falling headlong into a bloody Hellscape of carnage, death, and destruction. If the two have any designs on a future together, they have got to survive this terrifying ordeal first. There’s no way the two can wed, if either one of them ends up dead.

Well this one was a lot of fun, wasn’t it? Zombie films have been a thing since filmmaking first began. The flow of zombie films has ebbed and flowed with the passage of time. However, as far as I can tell, the current wave of zombie hysteria we are enduring began around 2004 with the release of two separate but equally significant films: the remake of Dawn of the Dead (Zack Snyder, 2004), and Shaun of the Dead (Edgar Wright, 2004). Two totally different takes on the zombie film, that not only did gangbusters at the box office, but were basically responsible for the unceasing glut of zombie movies we have been bombarded with over the last 16+ years. I suppose for good measure one could add 28 Days Later (Danny Boyle, 2002) to the list as well, but the point wouldn’t change.

So here we are in 2021, and these things are still coming out at a decent clip. While they may not be quite as powerful at the box office as they once were, apparently the audience for zombie films is, unlike their cinematic counterparts, very much alive and well. Although I can say that my enthusiasm for them has waned considerably over the years. It should come as no surprise then to find out that my expectations for Witness Infection were low. But then something interesting happened.

As the opening credits rolled following a fairly funny cold open, a few names stuck out to me, Carlos Alazraqui, Tara Strong, and Maurice LaMarche. These names may or may not mean anything to you, which is totally fine, In fact, they may prefer it that way. See, all three of those people are luminaries in the voice over industry, and exceptionally talented ones at that. If you’ve enjoyed any kind of animation over the last 20-30 years or so, you have likely heard all of their voices, and likely more than once. Beyond the voice work, Carlos Alazraqui is probably the most well known, having played Deputy James Garcia on TV’s Reno 911! from 2003-2008. Also, and I’m probably dating myself here, he voiced the Taco Bell chihuahua who famously used to say “Yo quiero Taco Bell.”

I am pleased to be able to return here to tell you that I enjoyed Witness Infection a great deal. It is much more a comedy than it is a horror film. There is plenty of gore in the film, but it isn’t very bloody, and the story comes before the theatrics. The story itself is laughably ridiculous, flipping the organized crime genre on its ear. The characters are humorously idiosyncratic, and the script is very funny.

I think that for a lot of people however, this film might be slightly forgettable, to totally stupid. I would disagree with those people, but I know they will be out there. In a way it is hard to blame anyone who feels this way. I too questioned the continued relevance of the zombie-horror-comedy. I’m certain that not everybody will have such a pre-established affinity for the performers in the film. Sadly, the fact that Maurice LaMarche plays a gastrointestinally proficient mob boss will not please a lot of people the way it did me. Some of the jokes might seem corny, and for many, this entire sub-genre may seem like it is being sold a little past its expiration date. I expect this, and to those who would seek to shit on this film, I may disagree with you but I will forever fight for your right to do so.

For me however, I laughed a lot. I thought his flick was totally funny and stupid. Stupid in the good way. It moves along at a good clip, I loved all of the characters, and by the end considered this to be one of the better zombie comedies. Witness Infection is filthy, funny, and smart, and it stays funny on repeat viewings (I watched it twice). I know this might sound hyperbolic, but I would put this film just below the legendary, inimitable, ground-breaking Zombies, Zombies, Zombies (Jason M. Murphy, 2008) on my list of all-time favorite horror-comedies. A list that, admittedly isn’t very long, as I’m not the biggest horror-comedy mark, but Witness Infection is worthy of distinction nonetheless.