Don’t F$ck with the Babysplitters

When approached to write this review, I was given a choice between two titles, both of which I’d never heard of before. My choice was the one that had the most interesting title: Babysplitters (2019). Babysplitters? That sounds horrendous, I thought to myself. My mind was instantly afire with the horrific potential of such a tastelessly named horror flick. People who split babies in half? Disgusting! Reprehensible! Beyond the pale! Exactly how were these deviants going to split these infants? What depths of depravity would be plumbed by a flick so self confident in its heinousness that it would dare to call itself that? I’m a guy who enjoys cinematic provocation, so by all means, bring on Babysplitters!

A Tale of Two Couples

Babysplitters (2019) is written and directed by Sam Friedlander (Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant), and stars Danny Pudi (Community), Emily Chang (Total Recall), Maiara Walsh (Mean Girls 2), and Eddie Alfano (Birds of Prey and The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn). Babysplitters tells the story of Jeff (Pudi) and his wife Sarah (Chang), a young, semi-professional married couple, who are contemplating having a baby. As a double income family, they possess the financial means to have a child, but the two can’t seem to come to a consensus on if and/or when they might be ready to have a child. Sarah is ready, Jeff not so much.

Some time later, Jeff and Sarah are out to dinner with their friends, Don (Alfano), and Taylor (Walsh). who are also a childless, married couple. Through their conversation at dinner, the couples reveal that they are both considering raising a family, but all of them have issues that complicate the decision. Jeff is not satisfied in his job and does not want to become trapped, Sarah has a low egg count and fears she may become infertile. Neither one of them wants to give up their free time nor risk putting their marriage up on the rocks due to the potential hardships of parenthood. During dinner, Jeff posits the suggestion that the two couples should team up, have one baby together, and they will split custody of the child 50/50.

Now, while this may seem like an awesome proposition, and may have you wondering why nobody has thought of this genius move before, I should warn you, the problems with this arrangement start to appear almost immediately. I don’t want to reveal too much about the trials and tribulations that lay ahead for this plus-sized, would-be family, for I’m not a fan of spoilers. However, what follows is a humorous, and emotional rollercoaster ride, which lays bare the vast complications involved in trying to plan a family in this unorthodox manner.

But Did I Like It?

As the opening scene began, I thought Babysplitters was going to be a run-of-the-mill rom-com. However it ended up being a film that successfully examines the personal insecurities of its characters, many of which people in a pre or post parenting situation can likely identify with. In the process, there are a lot of laughs, plenty of cringe (the good kind), and some meaty chunks of real-world philosophy mixed in for good measure. As a rom-com, it also becomes quite dark every now and again, and features a few plot twists that are both surprising, and satisfying.

The performances are solid, likable, and probably the strongest thing about the film. Pudi is more or less the protagonist, and he does a great job bringing the insecurity-ridden Jeff to life, keeping you emotionally invested, and on his side for the most part. The supporting players all do a fantastic job as well, as the characters feel very realistic and become well fleshed-out. A particular standout for me was Brian Thomas Smith (The Big Bang Theory) as the family GYN/OB, Dr. Palmer. He plays a minor role, but manages to be the standout in all his scenes.

This is not a film without flaws however. The pacing is a little inconsistent at times, and at just over two hours in length, it feels a little long for a rom-com. Even for one as unconventional as this. I’m not quite sure where and how this film could have been condensed, especially as there are many plot developments that need to occur in order for it to satisfactorily reach its conclusion. But that ain’t my job. The film just feels a little too long.

The biggest drawback was that despite the clever writing, on point acting, and professional production values, Babysplitters feels very much like a student film. I mean, if it were a student film, it would easily be one of the best student films I would have ever seen. And I can’t put my finger on exactly why it feels like a student film, but it does. While my enjoyment of the film was not impaired, I felt more like I was at a film festival than like I was at my local cinema. Corona 19 notwithstanding of course.

In Conclusion

Although at first I mistakenly believed Babysplitters to be a horror film, it turns out it is horrific in its own right. The only thing scarier than ending a life, is bringing one into this fucked up world in which we live. While not technically involving physical death (at least, not necessarily) proper parenting does require self sacrifice. I mean if you do the thing right, you are basically sacrificing your life in exchange for that of the child or children you aim to raise. A noble goal? Most likely. But an absolutely shit-in-my-pants frightening thing to be staring down the barrel at. Would it be easier staring down that barrel with a few close friends involved? Only Babysplitters can say.

Ultimately, while I don’t think Babysplitters is going to blow any minds, it may touch on something personal enough to play a melody on the strings of one’s heart.